I don't know what to write about... I feel that I will purge something if I keep writing but WTF?  I need a shower and I am tired but I don't want to go to bed.  But I do want to go to sleep.  I think that I will prolly just toss and turn if I go to bed. ..... but who knows?
who knows
who knows
who knows
why the wind blows
to and fro
who knows..
god this is pathetic
I think I'll just go hang myself now,

location: you know.... mood: indifferent music: nada zip zilch nothing tags: can't write

Dear Valentine, 
Thank you so much for shooting me and my husband all those years ago and helping bring us together (from Kentucky and Australia) and continually shooting us every year.  So many people are so sad on this day and I used to be one, so alone in college... receiving flowers from my mom and dad.  Which is a nice gesture but it tends to emphasize the "being utterly, hopelessly, desperately alone."  
I am married to my best friend and I hope we will be together for the rest of our lives.  If we aren't, then I hope the time we have together is priceless.  That may sound odd, but I have been learning that you cannot control life... it happens whether or not you are prepared for it and you have to flexible like a young tree branch.  If you are stiff like the dead or dying branch, you will break.
Enough Buddhism for now.
May the force be with you...
(for you catholics and episcopalians)...and also with you.

location: guess.... mood: yup, happy! music: forensic files on court tv tags: buddhism, valentines day

I just scratched the front of my head and a white hair came out on my hand.  I will be 40 in 9 years and it's blowing my mind.  I thought 30 was going to be hard but it was okay but I think 40 is going to take a toll on me.  I want to write here but I really don't know what to write about.  I'm sleepy... I took a nap earlier but I want another... tomorrow I have to take the car in to be fixed, as the driver side window is down and won't come back up.  That's going to be a little over $300.   Which, we do not have...  Hopefully I will be meeting with Elodie this week and will be getting a part time job soon.  I need to get out of this apartment.  -blah!-

location: just guess... LR mood: ho hum music: nothing... the ticking of the clock tags: blah, job search

Pitter Patter, Pitter Patter
Brain Matter, brain matter

dripping from my cortex
burning through my lobe
sweeling up my thymus
threatening to explode

engulfing fire rages
deep within my head
neurons firing rapidly
synapses far from dead

pitter patter, pitter patter
brain matter, brain matter

oozing past my sinus
mouth shut like a clam
flashes of a past gone by
and melt in my brain pan.

location: living room mood: ditzy music: listening to international cricket tags: brain matter, poem

Well, I was journaling in Word before I opened this LJ account and I wanted to transfer this information onto LJ with a cut and paste.  Unfortunately, because I have it protected with a password I apparently cannot cut and paste the journal.  So, I;ve got to think of some other way to get it onto LJ because I don't want to lose it.  Crap.

location: living room mood: give me a break music: none tags: journaling, word